A Thorn Birds-Style Love Affair and Lizzo

HOW I BONDED WITH MY 95-YEAR-OLD FRIEND

I lost my 95-year-old friend this week. He was a beautiful human whose ugly end-of-life circumstances didn't honor his wishes. (YES, THIS IS YOUR REMINDER TO GET YOUR PLANS LOCKED DOWN. YES, I'M SHOUTING.)

In recent months, I had the true privilege of being a nighttime caregiver for him.

We'd compare our days over dinner, where he dined on his favorites: Simply Juice (he called it "colored water") and King's Hawaiian Sweet Rolls.
We'd watch The Voice together--often, he'd burst into songs that had no relation to what we heard on the TV.
I introduced him to Lizzo. He approved.
He regaled me with stories of his boxing career.
In Thorn Birds fashion, he revealed the picture of his first love, which he secretly carried in his Bible (he was a man of the cloth).

I hold these memories in my heart, especially as I was out of state when he passed and didn't get to say goodbye in person.

The companionship we gave each other was a mutual gift. It was no coincidence that during his last days, I was learning about presence at an advanced coaching training. The science of presence is so powerful--here are a few of its benefits:

Improved social skills
Improved creativity
Greater appreciation for our world
Decreased distress
Reduced overthinking
Greater openness
Greater playfulness

I imagine you're thick into holiday season preparations. One consideration is to ask yourself, "How might I gift presence instead of presents?" This is a conversation I'll be having with my nieces and nephews.

Lastly, all this talk of presence reminds me of this William James quote that you might also enjoy: