TSL #012: Recover, Explore, Practice… For When You Want To Create A Meaningful Change But Feel Burnt Out
Read time: 2 minutes 35 seconds
In New York…
Concrete jungles where dreams are made of
There's nothing you can't do
I'm on Day 11 of a two-week stay in NYC, where I've been testing out the Sabbatical Lifestyle. Recalibrating work, rest, and play requires research and dedication , and I'll share a trip roundup when I'm done.
Today, I'm sharing a perspective I've been considering lately, especially as I've gotten to connect in person with a few coaching clients while I'm out here.
There's a lot of talk about how we need down time to clarify what we want from life…to figure out what we're meant to do…and to make it happen. While I'm obvs #prodowntime, I've also personally experienced stretches of down time that have lasted summers, some that have lasted several months, and one that lasted a year (recovering from a wicked combination of toxic mold-related sickness, chronic fatigue, and burnout). With the exception of my yearlong experience (where my work with a coach transformed my life), each of the other experiences left me feeling even more confused, overwhelmed, and isolated.
This is what I hear from my clients, too. Often, they've come to me after having attempted this on their own—spending several months in isolation to “figure out” their next big move…only to come up empty-handed.
You see, the traditional notions of a sabbatical can sometimes work against us. What typically happens is that we end up spending way too much time in pajamas, watching reality tv and numbing out with chips. Sometimes, we create even more angst from the loss of savings spent down during that time, more confusion about next steps, and more feelings of regret and failure about how we spent our time off.
Instead, I've come to realize that we need a loosely structured container—that includes recovery, exploration, and practice—to create meaningful change. Not surprisingly, this is also what the latest research shows.
WHAT TO DO
What do “recovery, exploration, and practice” look like IRL? Here's a good starting place:
Apply the principles of lifestyle medicine to establish a foundation for whole-person wellbeing as you create your unique contributions in the world. (Because sometimes what distinguishes intuition from irrational fear is a good night's sleep.)
Develop daily practices for dealing with the fear and self-doubt (and other thoughts and feelings) that arise in times of transition. This is often a combination of self-regulation, self-compassion, self-talk, and self-coaching.
Summon the courage to be honest with yourself about the ideas and inclinations you already have and probably have had for a long time.
Take time for reflection and research (but as the side dish, not the main course).
Enlist support from people outside your usual friends and family. This might look like peers on the same journey, a coach (like me!), or a therapist (or all of the above).
Embrace opportunities to do lots of small experiments with different possible directions, so you can learn by doing.
If you're struggling to explore and create what you want to do differently in life, then let's talk. I can help.
