#46: How to Overcome the 3 Paradoxes of Purpose

Our wellbeing starts with our why. If I got a tattoo on my lower back like some of you did back in the early 2000s–you know who you are–it’d say: “Your wellbeing starts with your why.” Back then, I might have gotten some sort of Chinese character–I know a few people who went that route. But today–now that my Olympic dreams have come and gone–the next best thing after Olympic rings would be this reminder: “Your wellbeing starts with your why.”

This is because there’s a host of physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and social benefits that arise when we’re connected to our purpose. I’ve discussed these in the previous articles.

And, yet, purpose isn’t some fixed thing.

We grapple with our purpose all the time…in part because we set ourselves up for disappointment when we buy into the notion that we have a singular purpose in our life. Not all of us get dyspeptic over this; many do, though. Plus, when it comes to purpose, there are a few paradoxes to consider.

I love a paradox to get me out of my thought patterns and fixed interpretations. And, today, I’m going to address three paradoxes of purpose…and illustrate them through a forecast of where I’m going in 2022 with Bullshift and with my business, more broadly.

PURPOSE PARADOX #1: WE’RE ALWAYS EVOLVING, YET WE’RE THE SAME PERSON.

To hold space for this paradox, we must continue to notice and reflect on what new information is bubbling up from our subconscious. And we must continue to not get fixated or attached to what we’ve found in our exploration thus far. Instead, we need to keep looking, reflecting, editing, and tweaking our way to an always clearer understanding of our answer to these two key questions: “Who am I?” “Why am I?”

But to be in creative, empathetic, resilient, synergistic relationships with others, we must first be in the right relationship with ourselves. What goes on in our inner world will play out in our outer world. Usually around the holidays with family. And the amount of openness, curiosity, patience, and compassion that we hold for ourselves is directly reflected in our behavior with others. Which is nothing if not an invitation to look at this year’s holidays as a big, ol’ mirror, right?

When we have a rich feel for what our life is about, we begin to tap into our innate sense of purpose, authentic expression, and service. This leads to more clarity and greater fulfillment...and to flow. It also helps us know what larger “why”s to serve in our world… which projects to volunteer for, which organizations to support, which communities to join, and so on.

We can further support this more creative relationship with ourselves when we keep our values in the flow of our lives. Values help us make empowered choices, they help us live in integrity, they help us confront some hard truths we’ve maybe been ignoring, and they can set us free to live a life that has more resonance.

And just as values are important, so too is our relationship with our inner critic. This is the part of our inner dialogue that criticizes, reprimands, and belittles ourselves no matter how or what we do. To relate better to others, our work with the inner critic is essential.

The way I see it is this: as critical as we are of ourselves (v. curious and compassionate), so too will we be with others. If we could peer into the inner landscapes of so many people’s lives, we’d see as much, or even more, torment going on within as we see playing out in today’s political, environmental, and social scenarios. When we can befriend our inner critic, instead of ignoring or silencing it, we can ground ourselves in a way that creates resilience and stamina.

One way in which I’m responding more fully to the need to be in the right relationship with ourselves is by offering certified clinical hypnosis to my clients to do the subconscious rewiring.

PURPOSE PARADOX #2: WE NEED TO REFLECT ON AND DEEPEN OUR UNDERSTANDING OF OUR PURPOSE, YET WE NEED TO BE IN ACTION IN OUR LIVES AND MOVE FORWARD ON OUR EVOLUTIONARY JOURNEY.

As our purpose guides us forward in life, we need to keep reflecting and tweaking our purpose. We need to know that there is no “I” that’s defined or set in stone, while at the same time taking a powerful stand for the “I” that creates, and is created by, purpose.

I’m calling for a new approach to purpose that’s versatile and flexible enough to adapt to the complexity of this modern world. To be malleable enough to respond to and withstand rapid change. And, especially under the current pressures, to be focused enough to support ever-increasing needs.

At the center of adaptive purpose is our ability to take passionate action without becoming attached to the result of those actions. At the heart of this is our ability to establish a commitment to something that’s worth devoting our life energy to.

To be clear, this isn’t a goal. Goals are practical milestones towards a specific end. Goals don’t always inspire or compel, they identify steps along the way…within a specific period of time.

It’s purpose. Purpose statements call forth your fullest, highest self. And they define your actions and inform the goals that you do set.

Your purpose statement becomes the lens you look through–your orientation point for your life.

For example, your life purpose statement might be “With love and authenticity, I inspire everyone I touch to become more alive.” This purpose will inform all the goals you set–personal, professional, interpersonal, and more.

It’s about stepping forward without necessarily knowing what the outcome will be and not trying to control it. You step forward with all you have, your full range of abilities.

And it’s a paradox, of sorts, that you’re stepping into. Because you need to be able to say, “I will use everything in myself for the sake of this purpose. I will bring the full range of emotions and expression to the party and I will step in with all that I have in every moment with nothing held back for the sake of it. At the same time, I’ll be attuned to the impact of my contribution and I will stay conscious, aware, and take complete responsibility for whatever emerges from me.”

When you put those two things together you’re in action for who you’re being and what you’re doing.

Adaptive purpose requires you to develop, shift perspectives, and change existing habits and automatic reactions. This type of change takes time, focus, and accountability. In cultivating this new, malleable operating mode, you revise how you view yourself and our world and what you believe is possible.

One way in which I’m choosing to be in action while also letting purpose guide me is by rolling out Purpose Camp as a core offering, doing related speaking engagements, and supporting the outcomes of Purpose Camp through Heyday, a powerful, curated experience that gives people the tools and structure to navigate their personal and professional needs related to spiritual contentment, professional fulfillment, health, romantic partnerships, and social relationships.

PURPOSE PARADOX #3: WE NEED TO LET OUR PURPOSE GUIDE US, YET WE NEED TO BE COMPLETELY PRESENT AT THIS MOMENT AT THE SAME TIME.

We can’t be so focused on this journey and the answers to our current questions that we miss all of life that’s happening around us… at this moment. Because this moment is completely influencing the answers to those questions and so many others. When we’re not present, we miss those clues and cues.

How do we open our minds and be present to what is showing up in every moment? Well, what’s tricky for me is watching my mind try to make “patterns” with what’s happening or being said at any given moment instead of allowing what’s really there to show up and be birthed. Our human brains are designed to see things and create patterns out of them. I love this invitation to be in the flow, bolster our values and create a meaningful relationship with ourselves. Because this is when the magic happens.

One way in which I’m choosing to be in action while also letting purpose guide me is by adapting the future content of this podcast to include interviews that will bring about all sorts of topics and explorations I simply can’t predict. And do it live-streamed on YouTube to a bigger audience. This is thrilling, though I know it’ll be unnerving for a few episodes, too.

So you’ve got the three paradoxes of purpose: we’re always evolving and yet the same; we need to reflect on and deepen our purpose and yet be in action as we evolve, and we need to let purpose guide us but also be present at the moment.

You’ve read about how they’re showing up in my business. How do you see these paradoxes showing up in your own life?

Browse related articles at meghankrause.com, slide into my DMs on Facebook or Instagram, or drop me a good, old-fashioned email at hello@meghankrause.com.

I’ll see you in 2022! And keep an eye out for the March launch of Purpose Camp–you’re going to want to be a part of it.