Closet Cleaning, Nancy Meyers Films, and Midlife Crises

[**I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU AT THE END OF THIS. IT'LL HELP ME A LOT TO GET AN ANSWER FROM YOU IF YOU'RE UP FOR IT.**]

When my client “Kim” likened navigating midlife to cleaning out a closet full of dry clean-only clothes that no longer serve her, I was all ears (I love a good metaphor). She said she doesn’t want to continue wearing them due to the cost of upkeep in the face of too many other priorities…even if all those cashmere sweaters appear soft and comfortable and pleasing to the eye.

What a powerful metaphor.

Naturally, I’m curious: What are you wearing that no longer serves you in midlife?

Last year, I was forced to ask myself this question. (Well…not this exact phrase. My metaphors need some work.) Major health issues like recovering from black mold illness have a way of doing this for us.

And I answered.

No more negative self-talk.
Goodbye to judge-y thoughts about myself/others.
Peace out to my own emotional hijacking during disagreements.

This was my closet clutter. (There were other things, too, but you get the picture.)

To eliminate the clutter, I did some important self-work involving health coaching, cognitive behavioral therapy, EFT, and more. I came out of this nadir with a more “curated closet” (watch out, Instagram influencers)...and a fervent desire to share this powerful process with others.

Perhaps most important, though: I ditched the notion of a “midlife crisis.” While the concept plays well in my beloved Nancy Meyers films, science hasn't reached a consensus...instead showing it’s mostly a cultural construct about how life’s supposed to go.

And that’s the heart of it all, isn't it? This “closet clutter” is what happens when our lived experiences don’t align with our pesky expectations.

This is where our work lies.

This is the bullsh*t we tire of by the time we reach midlife.