Cancer Sucks

ON MEANING-MAKING AND PRESENCE

My friend, Jamie, succumbed to a 9-year battle with breast cancer this week.

I said goodbye to her roughly 60 minutes before she passed.

It was both painful and beautiful to witness her end of life.

As I left her cute little house in a quiet suburb--where the shades were drawn as her wife, friend, and parents were holding vigil--I couldn't help but notice the study in contrast: the shadowed, trough-like yin energy inside the house and the bright, active yang energy of the neighborhood streets.

Was I really just supposed to continue on with my day? Driving along the highway among scores of other cars making their way to parts unknown? Hosting a meeting with a bunch of medical professionals to discuss how they can better support their well-being?

I wanted to commune with nature as I reflected on Jaime, life, death, illness, healing, vitality, meaning, connection.

I struggled to make sense of the next right step.

But I had a meeting to lead that I couldn't possibly miss. Or could I? (Hehehehe...I chose not to risk it.)

I know that life's inherently meaningless...we're the ones who decide where to assign/make meaning.

But this particular situation left me addled.

A sure sign that there are no accidents, I came upon the poignant, wise words of Catholic philosopher Jean Vanier (who also passed last week). He offers the most succinct and powerful prescription for a life well lived--check it out.

If you're not inclined to clink on the link (text and video), I'll share a quick overview of the 10 rules for life to become more human:

Accept the reality of your body
Talk about your emotions and difficulties
Don’t be afraid of not being successful
In a relationship, take the time to ask “How are you?”
Stop looking at your phone. Be present!
Ask people “What is your story?”
Be aware of your own story
Stop prejudice: meet people
Listen to your deepest desire and listen to it
Remember that you'll die one day

My takeaway? Presence is the present. That's how Jaime lived her life. That's how I aspire to be. And this alone is enough. Whatever my time is here on Earth, this is enough.

Hug someone you love this week.