Loneliness: a Truism for 1 in 3 Adults
…AND MY LAW & ORDER PARANOIA
"How can we make the world less lonely?" is a question I often ask myself (sometimes as I take in another Hallmark Holiday movie, for better or worse).
I think about loneliness a lot...and for good reason:
I've felt intolerably lonely at times (sitting alone in a church pew on Christmas Eve might be the pinnacle for yours truly).
Loneliness is bad for our health--as damaging to our life expectancy as heart disease or obesity, and equivalent to smokin' 15 heaters in a day.
Loneliness is also a modifiable health risk factor that we all can do something about. Did you know more than 1 in 2 Americans say they don't have anyone to discuss their problems with and that their relationships feel inauthentic?
We spend $6.7 billion more per year for elder care due to loneliness. In fact, 1 in 3 older adults experiences loneliness...and with 10,000 people turning 65 every day, that's gonna add up quickly.
This is serious stuff, no? So why are we so accustomed to doing the very opposite of creating connection?
We joke about wanting to hole up for entire weekends, bingeing our favorite Netflix series.
We build bigger houses for everyone to have their own space.
We stop answering or making phone calls because "they're awkward and I'm more of a texting person anyway."
To all of this, I say: "BULLSH*T." Being together...connecting with each other...depending on one another is crucial to our survival. Did you know the part of the brain that lights up when you are lonely is the same place that responds to severe physical pain?
Not to get too macabre, but on a practical level, I sometimes wonder how long it'd take people to learn I've died. As a single adult who lives alone, this is a valid concern...especially because, well, phone use just ain't what it used to be. Sure, I've taken to initiating more contact with loved ones as a result of this dark wonder I like to call my Law & Order paranoia. Yet, it's not always reciprocated unless I offer a specific reason for someone to return my call promptly. (If you're reading this--you know who you are--then call a sista back.)
As we enter into the holiday season, can we all make a pact to be more present to the very real epidemic of loneliness? You with me? Good. Here are three steps:
SO WHAT: Recognize that we need each other simply because we're human (and that there's no shame in this). Full stop.
SAY WHAT: Consider how many of us go through the day barely acknowledged by others. Ask yourself, "Who can I encourage today?" Then DO IT. The power of a simple compliment offers benefits to both the recipient and to you...all while creating momentum for a more generous world.
NOW WHAT: In recent months, my personal quest to address loneliness has been fulfilled by spending time with an elderly neighbor. It's brought tremendous mutual benefit! If you're looking to be of similar service in the world, then check out Little Brothers Friends of the Elderly (here's a link to the Minnesota Chapter).
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