#23: How to Change Careers When You Don’t Know What You Want to Do

The mid-career slump isn’t just frustrating--it can also be debilitating.

Thankfully, you already know you’re not limited to a single career path--we are well past that myth. And long before retirement, you’ll likely reach the ol’ career roadblock that causes you to wonder: “What’s next?”

When you reach this impasse--when you know you’re not happy where you are, yet you don’t quite know what to do next–-remember that you’re not alone. And even more important, know that this is a necessary part of your evolution and growth. This is true for your career and any other area of life. Because these experiences force us to eradicate our old models for understanding ourselves and our world.

When you can take a beat, establish some separation from your mid-career malaise, and reflect on the power and promise of having multiple careers in your life, it makes a heckuva lot of sense.

Think about what mattered most to you when you were 18 or 21? Finding the best house party on a Saturday night. Stumbling through that Geology class that you decided to take only because the professor was hot. Shout out to Professor Mark Johnson, by the way. Thinking you wanted to be a judge until you realized you’d have to attend law school. Seriously, I’ve heard that one more than a few times.

Whatever you were interested in, it’s likely not the same as what matters most to you now that you’re somewhere in the age range of 35 to 65. And a hearty thanks for that, you know?

We create meaning in all sorts of ways...and what’s meaningful and fulfilling for us changes as much as Kylie Jenner’s hair color.

This is why we inevitably come to a point when we need to toss whatever mental model we’ve created for ourselves and, instead, create a new approach.

No matter where you are in your professional journey--whether you’re hanging out in a job that pays the bills, a career that’s brought you success but now feels unfulfilling, or you’ve got a mission but you’re unsure how to make it more successful as a calling--your journey can seem overwhelming.

So let’s dive into what’s really going on during those moments of impasse and what to do to move through it. There are five core components and I’ll share a few actionable specifics about each component here:

Consider Yourself a Caterpillar

The good news is that your feelings of restlessness and dissatisfaction are actually a blessing in disguise. They signal that you’re learning more about yourself–what you want and don’t want out of life and work–and you can now start to think about what next steps to take. By midlife, you’ve grown into your self-awareness--you’ve gone through some messy things and you now know more about yourself and the world.

Consider the caterpillar...specifically, going from the caterpillar to the cocoon to the butterfly. This metaphor really works in the sense that you’re in this cocoon--you’re in the messy middle of a transition and wondering, “What the hell is going on?” And the science of that messy middle of the cocoon is so valuable here because if you cut open a cocoon in the middle of the process, then something basically akin to caterpillar soup pours out. It looks like a mess, but it’s a nutrient-rich fluid. And within that fluid are called imaginal cells. These cells reorganize into something entirely new: a butterfly. The caterpillar and the butterfly have the exact same DNA but they’re receiving and responding to different organizing cells. So no matter how cheesy the caterpillar to butterfly metaphor seems, this message of awakening to new possibilities is powerful.

Tap Your Inner Wisdom (Coach, Critic, Voice)

Another crucial step is to acknowledge and embrace your inner wisdom. This includes your inner coach or growth mindset, that’s available to us all. It includes your inner voice or intuition that we’ve learned to ignore through our formal education and training. And it includes your inner critic--you know, that pesky little voice inside us all--that’s all over you about not knowing what you want to do next. This is common, by the way. You’re a human with a brain.

When you’re facing an impasse, your inner critic is especially active and you might’ve lost connection with your inner coach and inner voice. So this really presents an opportunity to get curious about what they’re all revealing to you. In this way, you can be more honest with yourself about what you need instead of trying to keep everything tidy and predictable.

Clarify Your Non-Negotiables

If you’re unhappy with your career and desire a change, chances are that you feel an urge to jump right into looking for new opportunities. You start scouring Indeed and LinkedIn...you plant a seed with friends to keep you in mind. These sound like reasonable first steps, right?

Nope. These tactics ought to be the last step, not the first.

Instead, you want to ask yourself powerful questions, such as: “What really holds meaning for me?” This is a sincere, concrete question, not an abstraction.

This is vision work and there are many ways to approach creating your vision. And your values. It’s work, of course, but it’s work that’s both doable and exciting!

When doing this work, the power is in the specificity. For example, how much interpersonal interaction do you want to have in a typical day? How long of a commute and what type of commute do you want to have? How much creativity do you get to exercise in a day?

Getting clear on your non-negotiables is so important because it helps you discern what you need to look for in terms of turning your career into your calling. Often, you already know what you want and need for your fulfillment--you just haven’t made the time to clearly articulate what you need...to others or to yourself.

Craft Your Craft

Most people focus their time and energy on developing their ability to problem-solve, stay organized, and read other people’s emotions, for example. But they ignore their ability and their own examples of how to move beyond their old patterns and comforts, which is so important when turning a mid-career slump into a mid-career jump. What’s missing is the ability to answer the question, “Who am I and how am I different from other people?” There’s a need to pinpoint exactly what you want and aren’t getting out of your work. It’s about both story and specificity.

Seek Out Examples of Your Ideal Form of Contribution

The final step is to seek opportunities that capture as much of your non-negotiable criteria as possible--and in the right way that aligns with your lifestyle needs. Consider the types of organizational cultures that might offer most of your list. And then start to have conversations about what matters most to you. Connect with colleagues, friends, mentors, former teachers, and family. Networking is useless unless you can tell people in your network exactly who you are and what has to happen for you. This will help you distill what’s possible for you. Invariably, this is an essential part that so many people brush over and dismiss.

These are the five core components--cultivation, curiosity, clarity, courage, and contribution--that can help you change careers when you don’t know what you want to do.

If you’re ready to apply them to your life, then join me inside The Career to Calling Accelerator.