#31: Bullshifting the 3 Biggest Blocks to Your Fulfillment
I talk a lot about asking powerful questions because they’re so fundamental to our ability to create what--in the coaching world--we refer to as an upward spiral for our lives. And powerful questions are at the heart of bullshifting.
Yep--bullshift isn’t just a catchy name, though I do love it. There’s an intention behind it.
I’ve been focused a lot on professional fulfillment as of late, so that’s what we’re diving into today, friend: Bullshifting the 3 Biggest Blocks to Your Fulfillment. This episode packs a powerful punch, so instead of taking up valuable time with a lengthy intro, we’re diving right into the meaty goodness.
Each day, you have ~60,000 thoughts, and 95% of them are based in your subconscious...and are basically on repeat day after day...after day. Basic subtraction skills show us that just 5% of your daily thoughts are new and creative. Which means...
If you haven’t made conscious decisions about where you want to go and what you expect from yourself and your life, then you’re most likely settling. Because the majority of your 60,000 thoughts a day are negative. This doesn’t mean that you aren’t doing a good job in your life, by the way. It just means you’re a human with a brain.
If you don’t coach yourself beyond your current level of thinking, then you’ll keep getting more of the same. You and you alone are responsible for your thoughts, choices, and actions. Don’t let that power go to waste with stagnancy.
And, yet, here you are--listening to this episode--because you’re ready for something different. It could be a different career path, a more enriching relationship with your partner, stronger family relationships, and more. Actively choosing something different is at the heart of bullshifting.
If you were to look up bullshit in the dictionary, you’d find it’s both a noun and a verb. The noun is “nonsense, lies, or exaggeration.” The verb is “to lie or exaggerate to; to speak lies or nonsense.”
And because I like to make up words--which, side note, I did a little test with a colleague back when I taught Communication Studies courses in college. We made up a word and used it during our classes to see if it caught on. It did. Only slightly better than Mean Girls’ Gretchen Weiners saying, “That’s SO Fetch.” We were so self-satisfied, though I’m sure that’s some sort of ethics violation. Anyway, I like coming up with fun turns of phrase, like bullshift. If it were to make it into the dictionary, here’s what bullshift means: As a noun, bullshift is “straight talk, honesty, or openness.” As a verb, it means “to be honest or open with; to speak truth or straight talk.”
Now...a couple notes:
First, as a native Minnesotan, people are often surprised with how direct I am. Kind but direct. And, actually, I think it’s kind to be direct. But this isn’t traditionally a very Minnesotan trait, so I’ll happily claim this distinction.
Second...I’ve already tried submitting bullshift to Urban Dictionary and they shot me down. This is the second time I’ve submitted a word to Urban Dictionary and failed...but I will prevail at some point. And you can be damn sure I’ll blab about it when I do.
So when we bullshift, we lean into being more honest with others but, more importantly, we’re more honest with ourselves. And, mostly, bullshifting is about uncovering our own blind spots and mental blocks as they relate to our so-called problems.
One of my favorite quotes is by Albert Einstein that’s some version of, “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” You’ll see all sorts of versions of this on Pinterest and Instagram, but you get the general idea. And so, when I talk about bullshifting, and being honest and open, I’m really talking about upleveling our own consciousness.
And this is where powerful questions come to the fore.
When you ask your brain questions, it can’t help but find an answer. That’s what the brain is trained to do. It loves to answer questions.
But if you ask your brain a really crappy question, it’s going to give you a lot of negative thinking. Examples include: “Why am I so tired? Why am I so stupid? Why don’t I have any self-worth?”
If you ask your brain powerful, purposeful questions, it’ll give you thoughts to think that are powerful and supportive in return. Examples include: “How can I feel great today? How can I help the world today? How can I contribute today? What can I think today that will create a lot of positive emotion?”
A powerful question spurs helpful emotion and, ideally, action, too. Here are a few examples:
“What are the next three steps I can take to continue moving forward?”
“How can I create what I want?”
“What evidence shows that I’m loved?”
“What’s a productive response in this situation?”
“How do I want to think and feel about this situation?”
“What’s instructive about this?”
“Where’s an opportunity for growth?”
Each of these questions contains two qualities:
First, they have a positive or neutral premise;
Second, they encourage your brain to come up with positive outcomes or thoughts.
This approach gives you power over your life. Instead of thinking things are happening to you, or that your feelings are overwhelming you, you begin to see where you’re able to create greater influence over your life.
So let’s apply this insight to three of the most common mental blocks I see in people who are seeking greater professional fulfillment.
Mental Block #1: The Voice of the Chicken
This is the voice of fear and it doesn’t readily reveal itself. Common disguises include:
Blaming other people, which can sound like, “My family’s not ready for this”
Blaming timing, which can sound like, “It’s not the right time”
Not feeling well enough, which can sound like, “When I’m not so stressed, then I’ll be able to pursue this”
Thinking that some other hurdle has to be met first, which can sound like, “When I get that certification, then I can go after that job”
The shorthands you’re telling yourself are:
It’s not your fault
You can’t
You shouldn’t
Self-limiting beliefs and limiting internal constraints make up 80% of the reasons that are holding us back; only 20% are outside of us. As in 80% are internal factors, and 20% are external circumstances.
The truth is that you’re just scared, and that’s hard to admit and feel...even though it’s a completely normal feeling, there’s no shame in that. Busting your fear would make all the difference. So you want to ask yourself more empowering questions. For example…when you hear yourself saying, “I don’t have time” you have these options:
What do I make time for?
What would I have time for?
How much time would be enough?
Mental Block #2: The Voice of the Brat
This is a childlike voice that wants to avoid doing something annoying, unpleasant, or that requires effort you don’t want to make. It won’t always sound immature; sometimes it’ll sound very intellectual or even noble. Examples include:
“But the kids need me”
“I’m needed at work”
“I can’t risk my job”
Underneath, the truth is: you just don’t want to. In this instance, design and effort would make all the difference.
Let’s consider the example of “I can’t do this now because my kids/family/job is more important.” Powerful questions you might want to ask yourself include:
How do I know what’s most important to me? And how do I put those things first?
How am I deciding what’s important now?
Is making a change important to me? If yes, where does it fit in with my other priorities?
Mental Block #3: The Voice of the Weather Reporter
This voice just thinks they know how it is--which might sound like, “It’s impossible to get hired after 50” or “Nobody recovers quickly from getting laid off” or “I’ve tried everything to move in a new direction and nothing works.” This is the voice that reports on things as though they’re just true, absolute, and undeniable facts, like “It’s hot in August.”
The disguise for this one is the reason, stats, basically explaining your position. But you’ve forgotten you’re the one who collected the skewed data that got you off the hook of going for it. Creating mental stillness and making the right action promises to yourself will make all the difference.
Plus, you want to find some examples to start proving a new case and collecting data for your new reality, so in response to the voice that says, “I’ve tried everything to move in a new direction and nothing works” ask yourself powerful questions such as:
Have I ever not done everything and had positive results?
What would happen if I didn’t do everything?
How many times do I have to do everything to know that nothing works?
These are the top three mental blocks that I see holding people back from greater fulfillment and there’s an obstacle that underscores them all: the belief that you can’t change. You get stuck in a neurological feedback loop of thoughts, feelings, and actions that you don't always know you’re in. You don’t always make the connection between your thoughts and your actions. Instead, you wait for feelings to change, which is a slow process...if it ever happens. The opportunity is to learn how to allow yourself space to experience emotions so you can catch your detrimental thoughts and then reframe them. Powerful questions help you access all of this.
Okay, so now you’ve got a solid **or** foundational understanding of the function and form of asking powerful questions--for creating greater professional fulfillment...and for bullshifting in general.
If you’re wanting to explore what’ll make you feel professionally fulfilled through a proven, guided process, then let’s connect. Just go to meghankrause.com to get started! You’ll find a link to book a 30-minute clarity call with me where I’ll fill you in on all you need to know, answer each of your questions, and help you discern your next best steps for transforming your mid-career slump into your mid-career jump.
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