12 Days of Midlifing
LET’S GET ONE THING CLEAR: I'M NOT ABOUT TO ENCOURAGE YOU TO WRAP MORE GIFTS OR PLAN A HOST OF DAILY ACTIVITIES IN HONOR OF THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS.
That’s just not my brand of ambition.
As a health and life coach, I’m purpose-driven most days. Other days, I’m couch-driven. Especially when it’s really cold and dark outside.
My friend Jen disagrees. "You do so much! Yoga, work, concerts, walking. And you make time for others, too. I don't know any lazy person who does that."
"Yeah," I say, getting defensive. "But I don't like doing things I don't want to do."
Before you think duh, nobody does, consider that some people are actually good at that--doing things no one feels like doing: "I don't want to do the dishes right now, but I will because that's the kind of person I am and it's what adults do."
(No one talks like that, but it's the statement certain people are silently rubbing in my face when they do the dishes while I'm sprawled on the couch watching another Hallmark Holiday movie…which, by the way, are totally bingeworthy.)
Jen says that trait means I'm rebellious, not lazy.
She has a point. I'm the most rebellious good girl you'll ever meet.
I never smoked or drank or did drugs in high school, but I did fake sleeping in kindergarten to extend “nap time” and get out of afternoon class, and I did lie and say I forgot my softball uniform at home when I simply wanted to ditch class and watch All My Children, and I did refuse to have a career that required me to be anywhere that anyone tells me to be at any particular time, especially an afternoon time. When I worked in an office, I instituted a mid-afternoon dance party because naps are frowned upon.
And then I'm like, "What about when I don't want to create a new offering or write a blog post or host a live training?"
"Procrastination isn't laziness." Jen will say. "It's fear and perfectionism. You think you have to make it perfect, so you don't do it at all. Remember, B-minus effort."
That's Jen's mantra. "B-minus." She gets a lot done. And I'd say her output is A+.
What about when I want to watch TV or read something for leisure all day and not produce anything?
I'll answer that one. It's not really true. I love writing these emails. Even if my mind were erased so that I could watch The Good Wife for the very first time again, I'd get antsy without writing *something* to you all week.
So maybe I'm not lazy?
I guess “sometimes lazy” is a way easier pose for me to strike.
To that end, I've created the 12 Days of Midlifing for my fellow maybe-lazy-maybe-rebellious midlifers who want to feel good with more ease and fun, and spend less time doing what they don't want to do (like wrapping gifts!). Especially during this season of so.much.extra.
Of course, in a perfect world we’d incorporate most of these 12 rituals into our daily routine, but it’s not on-brand for me to tell you what to do (as a coach, I ask the good questions). Plus, I don’t believe in perfect; I believe in progress. So, wherever you are on your journey, I ask you to consider fully embracing each ritual on its day.
If you choose to join me in this, , I’d love us to support each other on Instagram! Use the hashtag #12daysofmidlifing in your stories and your feed to share each day’s activity so we can be in it together! I’m starting tomorrow and I hope to see you there!
THE 12 DAYS OF MIDLIFING
Day One | Hydrate
If you’re like me you’re in a constant battle with yourself to drink more water! Today, commit to 64 ounces of water today.
Day Two | Nourish
Today’s the day to really focus on what you put in your body to fuel it. Veggies, fruits, fats, and proteins…the pleasure is all yours.
Day Three | Meditate
Today, set aside at least 3 minutes to meditate. That’s all you need. Give yourself space and intention to go inward for a brief part of your day (ideally morning).
Day Four | Move
Today is the day to carve out time to move if it isn’t something you already do OR to really be present in your practice if you’re already getting exercise. Whether it’s a yoga class, a hike, or another activity that resonates with you—just get out there and celebrate what your body can do.
Day Five | Nature
Whether you bring the green to you with flowers or yourself to the green with a walk in the woods, make space to enjoy nature.
Day Six | Create
Express yourself, whether it’s a haiku and paper crane or a joke. Anything. Just make. And do it for the sake of doing it, not for any reason other than to enjoy the process. (My personal skill is creating limericks.)
Day Seven | Glow
Today, take some time to treat your skin well. Your skin is a beautiful, complex part of your body and it deserves to be cared for and nourished for all it does for you.
Day Eight | Sleep
This is a biggie: create a sacred sleep space devoid of screens for the night. No computers or cell phones. Clean sheets. Maybe a good book, a candle, and some sleep-promoting essential oil like lavender. Aim for 7 to 8 hours.
Day Nine | Indulge
Treat yo’ self. Today do something luxurious for yourself, even if it’s as simple as a bubble bath or a massage. Or consider a movie night where you turn off all distractions.
Day Ten | Relax
To combat holiday anxiety, start the day with some 4-7-8 breathing (inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8—repeat the cycle 4 times). The world isn’t going to end over holiday parties, gifts, and decor!
Day Eleven | Gratitude
Today’s ritual is simple: express gratitude. Write a note to someone for whom you’re grateful. As you express why you’re thankful, go deep (like a 5-layer cake) with why you’re grateful. You'll gain more from the experience.
Day Twelve | Celebrate
Hooray—you’re done! It’s time to celebrate. My personal approach is to flip on the Yule Log and eat popcorn on Christmas Eve and on into Christmas day! The important thing is to give yourself credit for completing this exercise in midlifing like it matters.
P.S. If you join me, don’t forget to share your progress in your Instagram stories and your feed with the #12daysofmidlifing hashtag so we can all cheer each other on!
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