On Flirting with Prince Charles, Church Ladies, and Growth Mindsets
In the annals of my life, few mistakes bubble to the top:
Not studying abroad for an entire college semester.
Not flirting better with Prince Charles when he asked whether I'd had a drink.
Not starting a business (what is now ClassPass) back when I had the idea.
Taking Accutane as a quasi-preventive measure.
Having to wear an "I talk too much" sign one day in Mrs. Wenzel's second grade class. (Shocker.)
As an optim(al)ist, I don't often frame life experiences as failures—they're learning opportunities (said with an annoying amount of positivity).
Like that time I learned the basics of geometry and experiential (v. chronological) time by lodging myself in the chute of a hay bale elevator. (Shout out to Dad who dislodged me with a tractor and loader when he arrived home 45 min. later.)
Or that time when I learned the concept of adrenaline/hysterical strength as I chased after a young punk who had just stolen my friend's purse. (While my friends sat frozen with their mouths agape, I offered a few choice words and kept pace with the teenager for 100 yards until his accomplice pulled up in a car to make a quick getaway.)
A few years ago, I learned why: it's my predominantly growth mindset. Hat tip to Dr. Carol Dweck and her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, which I recently re-read in preparation for BOOST (a workshop I co-produce a few times a year). I highly recommend this quick read but know you're busy so I'll call out the highlights:
Our mindsets are interpretative processes and internal monologues that tell us what is going on around us.
We fall into one of two camps: 1) a passion for learning ("growth" mindset); or 2) a hunger for approval ("fixed" mindset).
In a growth mindset, effort is what makes us talented, smart, or creative. In a fixed mindset, effort is bad (i.e., we wouldn't need effort if we're talented, smart, or creative).
Someone with a growth mindset thrives on challenge and sees failure not as a lack of talent, intellect, or creativity but as a springboard for growth. Someone with a fixed mindset assumes that talent, intelligence, and creativity are static and largely unchangeable...and strives for success/avoids failure at all costs to affirm these qualities.
We manifest these mindsets at a very early age—informing our behavior, our relationship with success and failure, even our capacity for happiness—but we can rewire our cognitive habits at any age to cultivate a growth mindset and a much more nourishing approach to life.
You may also like…
