Bonus Moms, Self-Talk Resonance and Pinterest Boards

I was catching up with my friend Beth and mentioned the idea of becoming a "bonus mom." She hadn't heard that term before, but she knew right away what it meant.

She asked me about it, and I confirmed that I liked it waaay better than saying "stepmom."

Y'all--we can't deny the power of Cinderella. Most of us subconsciously attach "evil" to any family member that starts with "step."

(I won't get into other problematic ideas that Cinderella plants in our heads for life, but if you've been looking for a prince to rescue you and/or thinking that will never happen because you have fat feet, you know what's up.)

"Bonus mom"! It's so fun. So positive. So "added value"-y.

Language is a big deal.

As a former rhetorician turned 15-year wellbeing professional and coach, I often say, "Change your words, change your world."

Your first instinct might be an eye roll or allergic sneeze because it sounds like something you'd hear in one of those personal development programs where they want you to recruit all your friends.

But it's true: the words we use form our worldview, and our worldview informs our actions, which shape our world.

It's why I'm always on the lookout for words I'm used to saying or writing that might be unintentionally reinforcing isms (racism or otherwise).

Then, there are times you change a phrase because you find it overused...and you end up confusing people.

For example, you can't swing a sack of "limiting beliefs" without hitting a life coach who doesn't want to call themselves a life coach.

Obviously, I feel that. But my fellow coaches complicate it by calling themselves "alignment activator" or "mental obesity healer" which...what? What the eff are you?

I believe that most people who want a life coach...want a life coach.

I'm not saying there aren't great exceptions that are more specific and perfectly clear, at least to the right people. It's why I use "Midlife Transition Coach."

I'm pro-originality and all about being inventive with language. What I'm saying is that when you're talking to yourself--which I fully endorse...remember my "Talk to yourself more than you listen to yourself" mantra--you want to make sure your words match what you're seeking.

This resonance doesn't just look nice on your Pinterest board or as one of those modern-day, shabby chic "Successories" decorating your home--it actually fuels positive momentum in your life.