In this episode, Meghan discusses the questions we tend to ask ourselves as we approach the new calendar year. She explains that these are the questions for which purpose is the answer. Who we are today is not the same as who we were yesterday and who we’ll be tomorrow. Yet, paradoxically, we are exactly the same person we were yesterday and will be tomorrow. This is one of a few key paradoxes of purpose that Meghan explores in this episode. Sit back, enjoy the holiday feels, and join Meghan as she gives us a preview of where we’re going with Bullshift in 2022!

In this episode, Meghan talks about another type of scarcity that we all go through while in the 20th month of this pandemic: the lack of connection and belonging. She emphasizes that when we are used to being the primary person supporting ourselves, we eventually acquire an overdeveloped sense of control as a coping mechanism, which we do not realize, is leading towards more individualism. She stressed out that there’s a common misconception that self-love is about the ability to withstand loneliness or the ability to establish independence. But there is more to self-love other than that. Do we really not need help? Or are we just closing our doors so we won’t get disappointed? Tune in, listen, and reflect, as Meghan shares the common reasons why we all struggle to accept help.

In this episode of Bullshift, we’ll focus on the “B” word...no, not that “B” word. The other one: busy. Because saying “I’m so busy” isn’t the status symbol you think it is. Actually, it’s one of the most out-of-touch phrases you could ever utter that’s fueling disconnection, giving the impression of deficiency, and holding you back from actually living what matters most.

Okay, so that’s a pretty confronting opinion. And I’m doubling down on it by also suggesting that we need to strike "I'm so busy" from our vocabulary altogether. Yep. Check it out.

I just searched “find my purpose” and found about 13.6 billion results. It’s a timely topic in these pandemic times, right? Many of us struggle to answer the question, “What should I be doing with my life?” “What’s my life really about?”

Some of us uncover our life’s direction early in life. But most of us grapple with trial and error as we go through life. The volume on the urgency button seems to turn way up somewhere in our 40s. Thus, the Google results.

Do you ever think that “Big P” Purpose just isn’t for you? If yes, you’re in good company. When I speak with individuals and groups about the reality that there are two types of purpose, they take a deep breath, maybe a sigh of relief, and offer a quick smile. Why? You’ll find out when you listen to “Understand Big ‘P’ and Little ‘p’ Purpose” on the Bullshift podcast!

We often get hamstrung when we think there’s a particular or singular manifestation of our purpose. But you can see in what I shared above that my why could be carried out in so many ways...and I find that both energizing and emboldening.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: a useful equation for purpose is “How do you want to grow and how do you want to give?” But when you answer this question, think in terms of now. Not 10 years from now. This sounds like an oversimplified and reductionist approach but there’s so much more behind this powerful equation related to the science of flow, growth mindsets, neuroscience, cognitive psychology, and more.

“How you see your purpose determines what’s possible for you.” This is a foundational truth I shared last week that I need to underscore right here at the start.

But there’s more to purpose than even this bold proclamation. Let’s do a quick overview of some of the bennies...most of which I haven’t previously shared because I like to tease you with bits and pieces so you keep coming back for more each week. Is it working?

If you’ve been trying to solve your problem for years, and you haven’t solved it–ain’t nothin' going to change this year or next without some outside support.

Henry Ford once said: “If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said 'faster horses.” Because you don’t know what’s possible when you’re just basing your thoughts on your life so far. You won’t solve your problems unless you learn how to use your brain to think about them differently. Not by thinking all the thoughts you currently have now, but by learning to think new ones.

Wondering, “Is this all there is to life? What happened to all my ambitions? All my drive?” We’re ready to start answering it. In our own way. Not some version foisted upon us by a corporate ladder or fashion rules based on age. This is our era of becoming. Our wake-up call.

The question, “How do I find my purpose?” is the wrong question.

Because if that were the right question, then everyone who found their purpose would have the same answer to it--and we know that’s not the case. There’s no such thing as a purpose store, right? Your purpose isn’t on some secret island that you don’t know about...or is it?! It’s not like there’s a purpose just sitting out there, waiting for you to find it.

Even if there was a location...how do you actually make it happen? You could be in a room of purpose and still not find yours. Plus, we all know people who’ve unlocked their purpose in the most unlikely of ways.

Our lives are full of crossroads. If you’ve listened to some of my earliest podcasts, you already know that we experience a life disruptor every 18 months, on average. Which is more often than some people visit the dentist.

But, when it comes to the mid-career worker, the darkness of these critical junctures is real. Workers ages 45-60 make up the bulk of the long-term unemployed in many countries, and they face growing barriers to finding good jobs.

When you’re obsessed with replacing old goals with new ones as you work to achieve more or work to avoid failure, your satisfaction is always in the future. Or the past. It’s mortgaged, then archived, but never possessed. In pursuing goals, when you aim at outcomes, you might preclude the possibility or value of the pursuit, extinguishing the sparks of meaning in your life.

No wonder you may be experiencing a midlife malaise...haunted by the hollowness of everyday life. At the root of this is a discomfort with how to handle setbacks and failure.

Naturally, you’re wondering what to do about this.

Which is why we’re learning a 4-Step Mind Map for negotiating setbacks and failure--or managing our missteps--so we can unhook from these experiences and create space for generating new meaning and satisfaction.

Most of us accumulate “stuff” in our lives. We keep adding things and responsibilities until we get to a point where we can’t (or don’t want to) carry it anymore...mentally, emotionally, spiritually, or physically.

So what’s the solution? There are two parts. First, decide how much you’re really willing to carry. And, second, decide what goes and what stays.

I don’t have the acclaim of Marie Kondo but I can offer five pathways to help you dive into this work of coming alive. That’s exactly what we’re doing in today’s episode of Bullshift. Join me!