Welcome to the Autoimmunite’s Association

 

Congratulations, friends. You’ve been chosen to join an elite circle of people who embody the essence of autoimmunity and all it represents. We are a diverse group of teachers, scientists, actors, athletes, and business leaders here to bridge the gap between the worlds of wellness and rampant inflammation.

As we all know, autoimmunity is more than just a health trend. Some people have reduced our movement to skin rashes and swelling, but an inconvenient case of hives does not autoimmunity make. To us—the fatigued and fevered—it’s a way of life. We proudly don the autoimmunity label to let the world know we have a great healing journey ahead of us, even though it’s technically incurable. To prove once and for all that every day can feel like you’ve had an intense workout even without moving a bit, if you let it.

Of course, autoimmunity isn’t meant for everyone, but it does have the power to set the code of conduct in certain situations. Don’t be surprised if everyone around you begins to second-guess their food choices once you show up. One of our members recently brought his own gluten- and dairy-free dinner to a wedding, and the bride came over to apologize for her dietary oversight. Sweet girl.

As you begin this exciting journey with us, we need to share a few ground rules that even our most experienced members need to be reminded of from time to time. As Selena Gomez, an autoimmunite with lupus, once said on the red carpet: “With great power comes great responsibility.”

  • You should be holding or in close proximity to a mug of bone broth at all times. Gut health is key to healing and bone broth is highly supportive for gut healing.  Plus, drinking it looks incredibly sexy.

  • Prolonged intense exercise with autoimmunity is highly discouraged but brief bouts of intensity are more than welcome. Especially if you share them on Instagram. #fitspo

  • Text-based apparel should be limited to short phrases that reflect important concepts like “It’s a gluten-free for all” or “Throw shade on nightshades.”

  • Photoshoot environments should be carefully considered. Nature trails, exposed brick, and neon signs are recommended for newcomers. After a year with us, you are free to move on to more complex settings such as yachts and hotel rooftops.

Please join us downstairs for a cocktail party, where we will be serving rosé ice cubes and ham croquettes, neither of which are meant for consumption.